In the end I just hope I was able to give back in some way the warmth my friends and loved ones have given me. I will always be thankful. Maybe i can't smile right now but I'll always think about it. It's so simple but I bet entire cosmologonies are held up by this stuff.
18th of march
Tiny people killing Giants
Reality is fractured.
The friends I've lost, I'll carry forever in my essence.
As time goes on, I keep being pushed away from the smaller realities in which I can't fit.
It's the essence of my friends, that keeps me growing.
It's terrifying sometimes how big I keep becoming.
It feels dangerous;
To walk shattered worlds afraid of giants.
I see tiny people, smaller than themselves, killing them.
Ancient giants, bigger than universes, who's souls have made friends with eternity itself. Carrying suns, stars, parents and sons. An essence so heavy it makes anyone feel small.
I see them killing them.
01.Jan.2024
I'm not sure what to do with the things I know anymore.
Up on the ceiling, a dark spot.
On the floor, the carcass of my body.
I'm looking at it as I remember what you told me.
Knowing the truth lifted a weight from my shouolders,
I could feel it fly up high.
And now I'm staring at it.
It's a wet mark,
red.
My blood ran cold,
up the ceiling.
Should it hurt?
Should something happen?
I stay like this for hours. Lying on the floor of the room, looking at the blood.
All this blood. it drips back slowly.
It wets my face, drips down my cheeks.
Until I fall back asleep.
someday during 2016
beautiful monsters.
Something stares at me in the dark.
It's just like me, but not quite.
Her eyes, remind me of all the things I never said.
Her shaven hair, of all the clothes I never wore.
Her scars, of all the things I never did.
Her sharp teeth, of all the girls I haven't kissed.
A vision.
I keep her chained inside my room,
And I stare into her eyes.
Every night.
Every night.
09.Jul.2023
Turning into an adult has been nothing but learning increasingly painful knowledge about this life, and I've decided to crawl my way back into my young years to find hope and strenght to create the new world to come.
someday during 2018
gut wrenching december
There's a man on the train asking for coin. He is playing a bass guitar and hums the tune as he goes.
Everyone claps after his song.
10 people have given him some money, worth around 200 coins each.
Two months ago, he would have bought three meals with this money. Now it may just be enough for a bag of bread.
The senate does not care.